When Caught in the Cage of Stress and Fear – And Time is Flying Fast Away

I catch myself on looking so many times at my phone, just to see what the time is.

Every morning there is the stress to be on time. I can feel the stress creeping in my body when I am preparing the lunch box, cooking oatmeal in a little pan and driving the car to the school.
I see it when I am looking in the driving mirror. The agitated gestures of the woman in the auto behind me. Because she is again angry that I am stopping for the walkers at a zebra crossing.

I hate the stress and hurry. The fear to arrive too late at my destination.

Assessment 

This Tuesday I had an assessment. I spent a whole day in Eindhoven. The city of high tech, football club PSV and the multinational company of Philips.
Happily I was on time. During the journey to Eindhoven I experienced at three moments traffic jams. And I saw how the precious time was flying away. And I felt the fear that I would be delayed and that there would be no time anymore to search for a free parking place in the streets of the nearby neighbourhood.

The assessment was at the fifth floor. The people of the firm were friendly. The atmosphere was relaxt. I enjoyed the whole day. Even when some of the technical stuff was very difficult for me.

There was one big but

A day later my phone rang. They told me that they had seen that I am very eager to learn, very interested, very enthusiastic and that I have a strong drive and motivation. They even got the impression that I am intelligent 🙂 . But there was one big but. They would not take the risk to hire me, because they were fearing that I am too slow processing the brand-new technical information.

Too slow! I felt the shock. The pain, the sorrow and the rollercoaster of mixed feelings. Again!


(I saw this graffiti at the concrete wall of an overpass in Eindhoven. The translation of the Dutch words is like: ‘Feed no war, but the ducks’) 

And many questions were drifting and tumbling in my mind:

Why is it not just enough to be a very enthusiastic and committed employee? Why should there be always a ‘not enough’? Why should the work be done in a very fast tempo? Why is there a focus on quantity (how much am I doing in a specific time) instead of quality (how good, beautiful or contributing is the work I am doing)?

And again I am wondering and pondering about our society of stress, hurry and underpaid, overloaded workers. Last months and just this week I was reading in the Dutch newspapers that there is an emergency call from teachers, judges and prosecutors. And of course, not to forget the nurses! They are all experiencing that there are too less co-workers, that they are making too long working houres, that they don’t have enough time to prepare there lessons, cases or the sittings of the court. And that they have too less time to pay attention to their patients. And they are all feeling worried and many times exhausted.

And I am asking myself: ‘Why are we all coping with this crazy system in our society?’

So many people are having burn outs

It is not surprising me that so many people are having burn outs, depressions, problems with their health, wrestling with addictions, having bad food habits and also that too many people are moving too less during a day. Because they are sitting whole days behind there computer screens. It is for me no surprise that there are people who are dying of heart attacks, due to stress. Stress is a killer of us humans. Stress is our enemy.

I really would like to be the opposite of this crazy system.

So yes, how does that look?

I like reflection, I like to have plenty time, even to do nothing. Just looking, thinking, being and seeing how beautiful whole nature – including us – is. To feel amazed about the beauty of the light in the autumn, to see the different colours of the trees. To observe the high blue dome and the white clouds. To hear the birds in the garden. And to drink just a cup of coffee. These things can be just enough! And can give me a feeling of freedom, space and luxury. Even a taste of adventure. And yes, even than, there is still plenty of time to work.

Singer Douwe Bob

So yes. When I was thinking about this blog, I just remembered the beautiful song of Douwe Bob.

He was the representive of the Netherlands at the Eurovision Song Contest of 2016
(Phew, 2016 already, even time is seeming stressed and in a hurry 🙂 ).

So yes. Slow down!

My dearly beloved brothers and sisters 🙂 – Slow down!

To listen to the song of Douwe Bob: Click here

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