Witchcraft: Needing Together Transparancy and Equality Everywhere

Fear. Because of fear I delayed to write about witchcraft. I felt that I was not ready to publish a post about this – for me heavy feeling – theme. So I waited, and waited, until this moment. Because now I sense the joy and space inside me to write without restraints. And yes, it works! I am writing smoothly, fast and light as a feather 🙂

Even nowadays I still remember the nightmare which I dreamt as a kid. During one night I was driving in a fast riding shopping cart. And I kept looking behind, because I was chased by an ugly, mean, old witch who was standing like a maniac in a shopping cart. Chasing and racing after me.

Everything I tried, but it was futile. I went slower and slower and she was coming closer and closer. I felt so scared, also because this was happening in the dark parking garage close to my home. There stood in narrow corridors the deserted, silver metal shopping carts.

The residents – living behind anonymous fronts of mail boxes and buzzers – seemed too lazy to bring these carts back to the nearby located supermarket. Or they felt too indifferent about the value and price of the shopping carts.

But happily, I escaped! In my dream I remembered suddenly something that had worked also in other dreams. I realised that I could fly! So I flared with all my might my arms, and yes, my feet left just on time the ground. And while I was soaring higher and higher, the grasping hands of the witch became smaller and smaller.

Some years later I felt impressed when I read a book about a pupil of a miller who learned how to use black magic. But these lessons came for the boy with a heavy burden. He discovered that he was trapped in the mill, that an unknown terror was going on and that the only spectators were a group of dark crows which were keeping an eye on him.

Extreme themes

When I arrived in my twenties I started to get interested in ‘extreme’ themes like christian healings at psychic (paranormal) fairs, deliverance prayers, exorcism and ‘spiritual warfare’. These topics were not mentioned or preached in my home church, so I went to conferences of charismatic christians to be educated. Also I did read the books of some former witches, who were ‘converted’ to christianity.

Feeling unbeatable

I felt in that time so secure about what I was believing. And I justified what I was doing. And when I was feeling fear I tried to remind myself about what I had learned. I felt unbeatable.

Once there was a church service where the pastor was asking us to step on the devil and to trample him under our feet. The whole congregation stamped with the feet at the wooden floor, cheering, laughing and yelling. The noise was deafening.

After this ‘ritual’ we felt secured and confirmed in our beliefs. Did we not be the ones who were succesfully surviving in a world full of ‘evil influences’? And did we not be the ones who were already safe in our ‘lifeboats’?

Our ‘life insurance’ was that we were already at the ‘right road’ to our eternal destination.

And together with my friend Walter – he is the one who later committed suicide, see my post of 30 December: Click here – I climbed mount Olympus. Because we believed that we would bridle Zeus. And by doing so we would release the oppressed spirits of the people of Greece.

We were ignorant about that we were ‘manipulating’ our fantasies and our desires to be wild adventures, daring heroes and brave warriors 🙂 We did not understand that we were trying to prove ourselves that we were real men!

Obscuring hidden fears

Nowadays – looking back at my time as a christian – I realise that my certainity and tough proclamations were obscuring my hidden fears. I was not acknowledging that I was willingly blinding myself, not wanting to accept the reality that I am also a part of a fearful and insecure feeling humanity.

Today I feel liberated that I don’t anymore believe in a hell, satan or demons. To be free of that superstition has made my life less complicated.

But my lucidity has grown that we as humans can transform – in a moment – into angry and frustrated ‘demons’.

Or call us than ‘trolls’. Acting mad, nasty and dangerous. We have unfortunately the possibility to turn our lives into a hell.   

Trolling (Urban Dictionairy)

Trolling – (verb), as it relates to internet, is the deliberate act, (by a Troll – noun or adjective), of making random unsolicited and/or controversial comments on various internet forums with the intent to provoke an emotional knee jerk reaction from unsuspecting readers to engage in a fight or argument 
Trolling on-line forums as described above is actually analogous to the fishing technique of “trolling”, where colorful baits and lures are pulled behind a slow moving boat, often with multiple fishing lines, covering a large bodies of water, such as a large lake or the ocean. The trolling lures attract unsuspecting fish, intriguing them with the way they move through the water, thus enticing these foolish fish to “take the bait”. Not unlike unsuspecting internet victims, once hooked, the fish are reeled in for the catch before they realize they have been duped by the Troll/Fisherman (Click here for the page at the website of the Urban Dictionairy or click on the underlined words)

So what is witchcraft?

I believe that witchcraft are the combined efforts of the will of one person or a group to bent another(s) will towards the benefits and goals of one ego or a group Ego.

This bending – performed through rituals of incantations, malignant expressed imagery or the spreading of defamating lies – means the willfully violation of the freedom of another person, thus far that he or she is feeling oppressed, depressed or even suicidal. The other human seems to loose the possibility to feel free or to think coherently. The result of this is a constant cloud of confusion, despair and stress which is captivating (the brain of) one person or more persons and which is corroding the connection with joy, love, strength and courage.

So witchcraft includes all forms of manipulation – also the ‘innocent’ appearing advertisements which try to influence our sympathy towards random products – intimidation, blaming, shaming, accusing, cursing of others and the isolation of them. It is working via distorted imaginations which are damaging the perception of how people are seeing and experiencing others, themselves – also via gossip and controversial rumours – and ‘reality’.

It can produce weakness, illness or the killing of humans.

Conspiracy theories

Witchcraft includes the sacrificing of humans which happened during pagan rituals like for instance those attributed to the Flayed Lord in Mexico.

To read more about these rituals, see the website of CNN or Click here 

But it consists also out of the cruel incidents which humans are experiencing when they are blamed for acts which are not related to them. Their personal identity – including information about their place of living or their relatives – is attached to disgusting accidents via a hoax.

To read more about the brutal consequences of conspiracy theories which multiply very fast via social media and create innocent victims: Click here

Something alike has happened during centuries towards lonely living (old) women or widows. It concerns the unwarranted accusations or expressed fears of mostly (mighty) men towards women who were different from the other villagers. Only in the Netherlands there were during the Middle Ages many women falsely accused of witchcraft and after fake trials they were burned at stakes or drowned in canals. The same happened regrettable in other European countries.

Also nowadays the same old lies (of ‘us’ versus ‘those witches’) are still alive. These rumours are spreading for instance in villages in Africa or in South East Asia.

Like this news report about India is telling us at the website of CNN. To read more: Click here

Obscure rituals

All these experiences have specific ingredients in common. Like obscure rituals that are limited to specific people (who are not thinking in terms of the unity of humans, but who are using divisions between humans) and whose conscience is closed and hardened during (occult) crimes committed to vulnerable individuals. The results of these behaviours are fearful secrets which are silencing people and making them suspicious and fearful.

The insiders are bound together via required secrecy and via the fear that they will be punished severely when they ‘betray’ the horrors which happened within the group or community.

Also the outsiders are intimidated via fear (for instance via violent acts and death threats).  

Haunted house

When I look at witchcraft I see that it is a haunted house built with the cards of fear. One of these is the fear of death. This worn card is used when others are cursed and threatened to be killed.

This fear seems to be strong, but it is fading away like fog when it is confronted with the unity of humans who are loving each other, despite everything and (en-) during all circumstances.

Because Love – even when it is not felt – is the real thing which is (eternal) present within us. Love is protecting us. We are Love and we are surrounded by a loving Universe. It is thanks to Love that we find the courage and determination to keep our place in Life and to be joyful about it.  

Aggressively attacking

I was her – by Court appointed – financial administrator. Taking care of her money and debts. And she called me by phone.

Again she was distrusting and disrespectful. Aggressively attacking me, doubting my motives and trying to blame me for the shortage of ‘her’ money.

I did not like the way how she treated me, but deep inside I felt somewhere some love for her. So I did my best to stay friendly and to be respectful towards her. When she again asked me for extra money, I confronted her with the actual amount of money at her bank account. And I kept asking her why she was so desperate to get more money.

Suddenly she ‘broke’. I heard the softening happening inside her. Even her voice became less aggressive, more vulnerable and more calm. She told me that she needed the money to pay her family in Suriname for their ‘services’ towards her three years old daughter, who had travelled alone – by plane – to her family.

In tears – crying – she explained that her daughter was very ill. She told me about the constant shaking of the body of her child and that her family had told her that it was caused by the curses which they had spoken against the life of her daughter.

The only way to cure her child from these curses was to sent her to her family. Because there needed be done a ritual of ‘washing’ in the dark woods of Suriname. After that her child would be finally free and healthy again.

The mother was sobbing when she said that she had no choice than to sent her very young child away – alone – to her family. For two weeks she would be separated from her kid.

I felt the horror of this situation and I kept thinking after she had finished her phone call: ‘Why did you sent your beautiful girl to these people who cursed her and who will probably abuse her somewhere in the jungle?’

I saw before me how this little girl would be hurted, branded and severely broken in her well-being, her personal identity and the safeguarding of her sexuality. And I felt very sorry for her that no one was protecting her against these atrocities of her distant living family members.

And I realised again how important it is to be together with others and to stay connected with trustworthy, loving people who take care and who nurture a culture of thankfully blessing and forgiving each other. Knowing how to dismantle lies and curses.

No rulers and no gurus anymore

So, what is needed with regard to witchcraft? I think two things:

  1. A (public) transparancy of everyone that will end all obscurity and secrecy;
  2. An equality that will give every human (in every group or family) the impression that he or she is accepted, welcome, seen and heard. Regardless the differences between us humans!

So I like to shout now: ‘No rulers, no gurus, no secrets, no lies, no spells, no curses, no abuse of power anymore and elsewhere’.

Because I like to dream how this lovely earth will become more and more a pleasant place to be for everyone of us.

So, no Armaggedon or Doomsday, but an expanding Love which is irresistible carving and cutting its way through the Universe.

And through the dark woods of Suriname …

Marriage: Behind The Fairy Tale Hides the Fire that Burns The Frenzy of The Ego

No one told me that my marriage would be at moments a hell. Not even my parents who are for years ‘happy’ married. No one prepared me for the feelings of sorrow, anger, frustrations and hate. But I could have known that I did someway warn myself: At the invitation card for our wedding we put the picture of a beautiful, lovely and quiet garden. But to enter that place of intimacy you had to go through flames … The gate was a consuming fire …

After seven years of struggling I have finally learned some lessons. And, happily, I am changing! I am really changing! I am a changing man. It is possible!

Today I am far more aware that my mind is filled with fairy tales and social narratives about how I have to behave (as a married man). And I am not the only one who is feeling miserable about these misleading stories.

Behavioural scientist Paul Dolan shows how this hidden thoughts are dictating our lives. Newspaper The Guardian summarizes his thoughts via the headline ‘The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?’. Here you can find it: Click here

We are scripted how we have to behave

I sympathise with Paul Dolan. It is indeed all mental imagination about how we see ‘categories’ like man, woman, child, tree, animal and for instance a snow flock. These are conditioning containers loaded with associations and prescriptions. And from an early age we are scripted how we have to behave. And mostly we are unaware how these detailed thoughts form together a closely knitted spiderweb. A protocol which is binding us and limiting us in our freedom to reach our true potential and power. It tries to regulate our lives with regard to how we have to eat, sleep, work and recreate. Including how we are expected to have intercourse and with whom.

Of course it prevents us from unhealthy risks or dangerous actions, but it makes our lives also boring and unchallenging. And in essence it’s all dictated by our Ego. Because ‘we’ desire to live secure and comfortable. In a fairy tale with a ‘happy end’ and with clear roles for each one of us.  

To reach clarity we judge permanently whether we are accepting or rejecting what we are watching. And via unspoken and obscure words we paint the feelings which our minds are willingly producing for us, just in a blink of our eyes.

We are not taking notice about how our ‘automatic pilot’ is functioning inside. And minutes later we are wondering why we are feeling like we are feeling.

We simply are most of the time not really ‘present’ in the situation. Or just forgetting how we were misleaded in our perceptions of reality. And we tumble again in the dark abyss of our intense and ‘primitive’ emotions.

Producing pleasant interpretations

So many times our minds try to simplificate reality by presenting us simple ”choices” which we can answer with a clear ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Even our sympathy or antipathy is mostly black or white. It is not based at a thoroughly evaluation of the situation or the person who we are meeting. We just assume and we perceive afterwards – when we are not clinging to our decided positions – that our judgements were not at all correct. Because we were not seeing all aspects of the other and not knowing the total of events which he or she went through.

But even when we are aware there lingers still the fairy tale about the moment when we meet the one and only person who is designed for our needs. We believe that there is love at first sight, that our partners should always satisfy us and that – by the way – there should be great, seducing sex. Also we assume that we will stay together for the rest of our lives, while we don’t have the possibility to know what future will brings us. Because we are still expecting that we will live ‘long and happy afterwards’.

Did I ever hear before my marriage about the struggles and storms which I would meet? No one told me. No one warned me when I was walking the road towards my wedding day. Also no one did give me the promise that this would be possible the path whereby I would understand myself far better than anytime before. Also that it would create the perspective and chance to get rid of my dominant Ego.

Love flourish at a soil of impossibilities and imperfections

So I observed through trials that love flourish at a soil of impossibilities and imperfections.

When my wife entered my life like a whirlwind she swept away the chess pieces which I had carefully placed at the board of my mind. It were the pieces of an exaggerated positive self image which was not knowing its limitations. And yes, I was purposely blind for the flaws of myself.

After our dating period I experienced feelings and thoughts which I never had before. And later on I tried to ease my discomfort about our repeated quarrelings by blaming my wife for our arguments and by trying to call her to account. I really believed that she was always the first who started our battles and that I was just reacting and trying to limit her intense verbal expressions. I tried with all my might to convince her about her wrongdoings.

I walked with open eyes in self-justifications and I could not believe that I was the one who was causing problems.

Ouch, my Ego is such a stubborn and stupid ‘donkey’. Not listening and unmighty to act wise at all. For many times I stubbed my foot against the same stone. Not knowing how to prevent it. And not realising that I could jump towards another direction.  

Days to recover from angry disputes

How I could dig my heels in my feelings of anger. I needed days to recover from the bitter disputes. Because I was attaching to my sour memories about what had happened. In my mind I saved a vivid collection of very visual views of what my wife had done.

And I was not interested in my own destructive behaviour patterns, because I tried at all costs to protect and preserve myself.

But finally – after countless moments of hell – I was learning that it is possible to make other choices. Even in the hottest argument there is a possibility to change the course of the fight.

I detected that I can make another evaluation of the situation, even when my mind is creating angry thoughts and trying to convince me to throw these as hurting hurricanes towards my wife.  

When my Ego is feeling insecure or wounded

I laid bare that my mind is not anymore an useful tool when my Ego is feeling insecure or wounded. And when I am confused or overloaded with intense feelings and thoughts. My Ego is than very egoistic 🙂

Not  helping me to de-escalate or to calm down. Instead it is stoking the fire and freezing me in an immobile position by sending me judging thoughts and ice cold condemnations.

My Ego is not shaped to behave well when it is confronted with a confusing complexity or with the will of another human. It is than becoming as heavy as a statue of stone. A pressing and blocking obstacle. Not relativizing any detail or choosing to change one’s tune. Instead it is exaggerating and overstating. Blowing small things out of proportion. Creating big drama. And isolating me by showing me an absurd picture of the situation which is totally out of context and out of my control.  

So what have I learned?

That I have to accept that the situation is developing otherwise than I am liking. And that the only one who I can try to calm down is myself. And even that is sometimes very difficult.

In those crises I need the awareness that I have to reset my mind. Because it is dysfunctioning. Even when I am pretending that I am the one who is keeping his head cool and even when I am fleeing like a refugee to my rationality. But also my logic is than failing like a fake friend.  

I am not my Mind

The changing moment was that a divorce seemed inevitable. I felt so much sorrow and distress about the nearer coming definite separation of my wife. And I realised deep inside that I don’t desire to miss her. Because I love her like a fire which is so intense that it is also burning my Ego to ashes. I really want to lay my life down for my wife and my kids.

Also I uncovered the reality that I am not my mind. Somewhere there is an awareness inside me which is coming from a deeper place. This place is not connected with my Ego. And no one can claim it for his own benefits. This spot of rest and peace is always just a breath away from myself. It is cherishing and pampering my bones and blood. It is such a strong loving force that I can feel it wrapping itself around my existence, my body and around all the creatures of this world. It is inside and outside me. It is everywhere.

That place of Love is the airless eye within a storm. The ultime solid ground under my feet. It is the foundation of my spirit. It can’t be prisoned. It is Freedom itself. It is the Wind which is blowing through all times, places and positions of people.

Aha, my mind is making problems again

When I am in pain or when I am (dis)stressed, it is very difficult to reach that place. But it is helping me that I have created in the meantime a distance between my mind and ‘me’ (which is also a collection of the mental images created by my mind).

It is helping, because I can now think when my Ego is perceiving a ‘crisis’: ‘Aha, my mind is making problems again’ (liking to create drama!).

And to be in the place of Love is also the timeless place where there is an abundance of forgiveness ever for everyone. For myself, my wife and every other one living at this planet. It is the place where no records are hold about the wrongdoings of whoever. It is a place of acceptance. I am there invited to forget the ‘shocking’ things which my mind was stirring up or which were troubling my Ego.

And thanks to the Love deep wired inside my being I can resettle my mind within moments. Where I first needed some days to refind rest and peace I can now accept the feelings of anger. Observe them, let them be and let them go.

My wife is not my property

I guess that what changed me also is the wisdom that I am only ‘responsible’ for my own behaviour and not for that of others. I am not the pedant or schoolmaster who is correcting or teaching another. And happily I say nowadays far more easy sorry than before 🙂

Also there is the deeper and helping knowledge that my wife is not my property. She is an autonomous creature, a grown up like me. She is not a child. I don’t owe anyone. I even don’t owe my body. These are entrusted to me to take care and to nourish. So that they will become mature. That they will blossom and bear many fruits.

And I assess also today that the centuries-old (christian?) thought that the man is ‘the head’ (supervisor) of his wife is a big, enchanting lie. Because it is devaluating every woman and it is subjecting (the mind of) a woman like an object to the will of a mistakes making man.

Love needs distance

Finally, I have experienced that friendship and love need distance. It is good to be separated from each other for a while. To have a pause. Distance makes it possible to enjoy a closer approach and again the befriending of each other. Like it was just the first moment. Or a new possibility to start again. To look with other eyes. To become aware of unseen realities. Even when the other is looking so familiar.

It is psychotherapist Esther Perel who writes in her book ‘Mating in Captivity, unlocking erotic intelligence’ about the importance of distance between sex partners. She is also discussing these topics via the TED talks. To hear more about these themes: Click here

A level which I can’t oversee

Deeper than deep there is the connection between myself and my spouse at a level that I can’t oversee or gauge.

My wife – who did not anymore dare to expect that I would change – said something that made me very happy. She spoke some days ago in my ears the for me immortal sounding words:

‘Finally, you climbed down your throne !’